Meeting the Gypsy Biker

March 18th, 2010 | by | old season

Mar
18

Yesterday, through a mutual friend, I met Mr Ronnie Borrageiro, the Gypsy Biker. He is a South African, a resident of Pretoria, who is riding his motorcycle around the world.

Ronnie is a calmly-spoken yet determined man who has some impressive experience in motorcycle trekking through Africa. He finds himself in the fortunate position of having the time and resources to live a dream that many of us have, and now he is on his way.

His bike is a BMW R1200GS and in addition to his impressive array of sponsors, his efforts are being reported on the BMW Motorrad Web site itself. That is where we come in.

Dreams like Ronnie’s are not just of benefit to the dreamer. His desire is to share his experiences with everyone through his Web site. Already, he has accumulated a fascinating array of experiences and photographs from the Southern African leg of his journey, and this collection will grow several-fold over the course of his two-year journey.

If you would like to follow Ronnie’s exploits, and I suggest that you do, please drop by his site at http://www.motogypsybiker.com/. He will be updating his blog regularly as infrastructure and travel conditions allow. Judging by what he has already posted, Ronnie’s journey will be of great interest to anyone who loves travel, technology, motorcycles or wide open spaces.

Perhaps a few of you will land up following in his wheel tracks in the future.

I’m going to be helping out in a very small way by promoting his site and, if you are interested in what he is doing, you could also blog it, tweet it or mention it on Facebook. There is nothing wrong with shameless promotion when it might help a weary traveller buy gasoline in Bolivia or a beer in Bangladesh. There will be further news of his travels posted here from time to time.

Once again, you can follow Ronnie’s progress at these links:

http://www.motogypsybiker.com
http://ronnieborr.com

“Join the Ride, Live the Deam”

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Signage Awards

November 28th, 2008 | by | old season

Nov
28

Andrewdotcoza would like to acknowledge those who work tirelessly to create the signs by which we are directed and protected in our every day lives. Among these people are some who sprout well honed clarity that we, all too often, don’t even notice in our diurnal scurrying. Then there are those special individuals will be recognised today.

In the It Is What It Is category, we recognise the following sign and the person that ensured it is the first thing you see when you walk out of domestic arrivals at O. R. Tambo International Aiport in Johannesburg:


In the Shafting The Customer category, the far-and-away winner is Pick ‘n Pay, for their new in-store design for the service desk, of all things:


Finally, in the International Symbol of WTF? category, the following travellator warning, also from O. R. Tambo International Airport, wins the day:

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Airport Musings

July 25th, 2008 | by | old season

Jul
25

As I sit here in O. R. Tambo Airport’s domestic departure lounge, I’m highly amused by an example of job creation that I encountered while checking in.

Recently, South African airports have added self-service check-in kiosks. These things are the greatest invention since the high-heel boot and really do save you a lot of time. Well, sometimes.

The problem is that when they were first installed, each kiosk came with a operator. These operators were not very bright, and significantly slowed down your use of the kiosk as they strained to remember what to do next after every keystroke*.

It didn’t take long for laziness to improve the system. Within a few weeks the operators had become a vague, shadowy presence on the edge of your consciousness as they left you to operate the machine yourself, and to get your boarding pass in double-quick time!

In Johannesburg, a sinister trend has developed. Each kiosk operator sports a clipboard. As you start to use the machine, or as you try to leave with your boarding pass, they run over and ask you what your name is.

Now, I don’t believe that people have the right to know my name. If the airline knows enough about me to let me on the flight, I’m darned if I’m going to oblige some minor bureaucrat-in-training with more information. Yes, I did briefly toy with the idea of claiming to be Osama bin Laden, but this is an airport and that could land me in the Guatanamo Bay barber shop quartet faster than you can harmonise “Allah Akbar! God is Great!” Therefore, I respectfully declined to participate.

Today’s young lady was affronted. She explained that she was just doing her job, and that it was an important job because her employer suspected her and her colleagues of standing around all day doing nothing. Therefore, they had to write down the names of everybody who checked in using the kiosk.

*: Actually, these are touch-screen kiosks, but you get the idea.

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Law Enfarcement

July 20th, 2008 | by | old season

Jul
20

During the third week of June, a burglar broke into my home while I was away on a business trip. The thief took a considerable amount of computer equipment, clothes, and a few irreplaceable items like part of my coin collection and the mantle clock that had belonged to my grandparents.

I do not wish to tell the story of my sense of loss, not that of the excellent service provided by Craig the Burglar Bar Guy or my new ADT armed response people. I want to tell you the story of the horrifying ineptitude of the Table View police.

It is difficult to know where to begin. Perhaps it is worth mentioning that the police have no way of dealing with a situation in which the person that has been robbed is not present to make the statement themselves. My housekeeper very kindly spend her day waiting for the police to arrive, giving a statement, waiting for the police to arrive, assisting the forensic footprint team, and then waiting until the end of the day for the non-arriving fingerprint guy.

The officer that took the statement actually refused to take down my phone number because he was of the opinion that it was not required. Access to the premises for the fingerprint guy was arranged through her, several days later. Of course, she was back home on the other side of Cape Town by then, so it wasn’t much use.

To this day, I have not been able to have a single discussion with an investigating officer about the crime. This despite the fact that I have phoned the police station nine times and left a message for Detective Inspector November, whom my housekeeper was told was assigned to the case. I wanted to speak to him to arrange the collection of a pair of very stinky shoes that the perpetrator had left in my home. Both the footprint and fingerprint teams had refused to take them.

Eventually, I took them to the police station myself. After dutifully following the signs that directed me to the offices of the detectives, I found both office blocks open, accessible and without any signs of life. Had I been of a criminal bent, I could have removed far more computer equipment than I had lost, and helped myself to whatever case files I might have considered useful.

In fact, there were no signs of a police presence at the Table View station at all, except in the charge office itself. There I left the shoes, as well as a letter detailing the items that were lost, my contact details, and a plea for Inspector November to contact me.

Guess how that worked out.

The fact is that I have a lot of respect and appreciation for the police personnel that drive around our streets keeping us safe. I think it is a dangerous, underpaid and depressing job that they do quite well, generally speaking. When, for example, I saw a man walking down my street wearing what I am quite sure were a pair of my stolen shoes, a police van arrived within minutes to look for him.

The fact that I heard nothing more, even after potentially delivering their suspect to them directly, is an indication of the abject uselessness of the investigative wing of the force.

I suppose that the point could be made that the police are overworked, and that they cannot be expected to have time to follow up every lead on a minor domestic burglary. I say that is a load of old bollocks. I have previously mentioned the commander of the local station, Inspector Nolan, and his merry men here and here. The sad fact is that in the case of this crime, there has not even been a token effort to make contact with the victim, or to follow any leads.

That does not speak of overwork. It speaks of complete apathy. It seems that our police have the time to brutalise innocent students, stage mock arrests for charity, provide case numbers for insurance purposes, and nothing more. In the absence of any actual investigative activities, you would think that they could perhaps learn grammar or something, but have a look at this next item – a letter addressed to my housekeeper informing her of the status of the investigation:

Point 3 is my favourite.

If you review the writings of Inspector Nolan that I have reported before, it can be seen that our police force sees us as customers of a sort. We are able to get the benefit of their services if we do certain things, like a shopkeeper would expect us to arrive at his emporium within business hours. By implication, we are actually blamed for crime if we do not co-operate by becoming extremely paranoid.

While I cannot blame the police for the fact that this crime was committed, I do expect to be able to go away for a few days without worrying about my possessions in my locked house being molested or liberated. I expect blanket coverage of the country by law enforcement, and I expect arrests to be made when I report a crime. This is what I imagine when I think of my tax money going towards policing.

I know that expectation is utopian and unrealistic, but I think that any situation in which it is not met is indicative of a problem. I don’t blame the police for this problem, nor do I think that any system can ever be completely free of problems. I do expect the police, however, to act to address these problems in a reasonable way. I expect the detective to call me back. I expect the first officer on the scene to take my number. I expect a SOCO team to arrive promptly so that I don’t have to live for several days in a filthy, ransacked house. Wiping the fingerprint dust off my possessions would also be nice.

Our police seem to be trying to address these problems through marketing. That might impress you if you feel safe in your home. For the rest of us, it is a fine motivator for learning the words of O Canada!

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Airline Food

June 6th, 2008 | by | old season

Jun
06

Those of you with a close view of my personal life know that I have been doing quite a lot of travelling recently. Every few weeks I hop on a plane to Johannesburg and return, an exhausted husk, in time for the weekend.

These excursions have interfered somewhat with my blogging schedule, but have yielded a wealth of reportable material. This evening I was planning a vitriolic rant about airline food.

You see, My Employer flies me around on the local version of that fine airline, British Airways. They are a pretty good airline too. The staff are friendly and professional, and they fly that old stalwart, the Toyota Corolla of the Air, the Boeing 737. By and large the aircraft are comfortable. All airlines have their foibles and the particularly important one with BA is this: Avoid sitting in a B or E seat, and avoid 11D completely.

The food, however, is awful. Generally they offer a choice between a sort of Lamb Surprise and a sort of Vegetarian Surprise. The lamb often comprises that old favourite, Lamb Lasagne, made with real, identifiable chunks of meat. Tonight, however, I got Lamb Rice Cakes, in which I managed to detect no lamb whatsoever, and hardly any noticeable rice. On the morning flight, you receive a tablespoon sized scoop of salad. This is composed, in the main, of grated Mystery Fruit. It looks like it might be very old pear, but it tastes like slightly wheaty pineapple core.

I was planning to go on at some length about this cuisine and so, on tonight’s flight, I decided to read the pamphlet provided by the company that makes it (beware of automatically played voice recording). They include a list of their restaurants (presumably so that you can avoid them), and a 10% discount voucher. When I looked at the voucher, I realised that the last word on this subject had already been spoken.

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